We get molded by our upbringing. We learn to please our parents/caretakers/peers and in doing so we sacrifice parts of ourselves that later in life we need to reclaim to actualize. We grow up and at some level we know that we are not fully our true self. Something is missing but we can’t put our finger on what it is. How can we find our missing pieces if we don’t know what they are? A useful tool for this situation is to use a role models or an avatar.

A role model/avatar is someone that you know in your life or from the media that you admire and are drawn to. Who is someone that you see as great and inspirational? Pick someone who has a lot of “charge” for you? When you have chosen this person here are some exercises to do:

make a list of the things that you admire about them.

Example traits: loving, powerful, intelligent, creative, brave, strong.

2a. Pick the trait of theirs that you most admire/ want to possess.

2b. Ask yourself - how can I embody that trait of theirs?

What would it look like if I embodied this trait in specific situations in my life? Mentally run through a scenario or two. How would you act differently? What different results would come from this behavior?

3. How would your avatar/role model respond to a situation that you are currently challenged by? Imagine they inhabited your body while dealing with this situation and responded their way .What would they do? What would be the result?

4. Have an imaginary dialogue with them. Ask them for advice about something. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know exactly what they would say. Use your intuition to fill in the gaps. You are really dialoguing with a version of them that you have created. Take their advice.