The Surviving Mentality vs. The Thriving Mentality:
I grew up learning an old fashioned work ethic. It involved “putting your head down,” not asking for much, and enduring for as long as possible. Being stressed out was a mark of pride. Hardworking people said things like “I have so much to do” and “I’m so busy.”
I noticed as I started working with more and more successful people, most of their attitudes and work styles were markedly different from mine. I was used to working 12 hours straight to get a job done obsessing over every detail. Too often, I sacrificed my health and all of my other interests to devote myself to the task at hand. And after all that I still felt like it was not good enough when I had to hand it in. I would marvel that the new people that I was working with would take frequent breaks to do things like play xbox, watch watch basketball games, or to go to the club(I’m in the music industry.) I would wonder “how are they so successful when they are so relaxed and are having so much fun?” I began to reconsider the ideas about money, work, and success that I had accumulated. To further this study, I started reading autobiographies and listening to podcast interviews of people that I admired I realized that I was holding some false ideas about success, work, and money. In these books and interviews I heard these people repeatedly talk about “following their passion and curiosity and about having fun. They spoke about not focusing on the external rewards of “success,” money, fame, etc. They spoke of their work being something that they would have done for free. I finally understand this now:
when you are naturally passionate or curious about something you excel at it! When you are working for intrinsic motivation you can dive in fully and unselfconsciously! Fun is also important because it connects you with other people. The more connected you are to yourself or to others the more you can excel in your career.
We get bonded to the survival mentality through fear while the thriving mentality requires a degree of self-trust.
Here are some ways to tell if you are surviving or thriving:
If you are SURVIVING you are:
worried about losing time/falling behind. Usually hurrying/rushing or trying to catching up.
focused on pleasing people outside of yourself.
not enjoying what you are doing.
experiencing the idea of success as distant and outside of yourself.
jealous of others who you see as more successful.
perfectionistic.
If you are THRIVING you are:
enjoying what you are doing most of the time.
having fun.
feeling passionate about what you’re doing.
able to be creative, try things, make mistakes.
feeling a sense of control in what you are doing.
feeling successful or on the road to success
primarily focused on the value of the work you are doing and not the external rewards that it will bring you.